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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of a brief reminder, All Dead Years, what hath hell wrought, Dead of Winter, NLM///Gathering Dust To Build A Mountain, Nothing Will Come of Nothing, NWCON Singles, and Doublethink.
1. |
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frozen in place
trapped in time
awaiting my fate
coming down the line
no lights on the ground
just shadows overhead
if you smile, you're not real
you can't go back in time
though afraid and weak now
someday i shall be strong
and as god is my witness
i shall bury you
i shall bury you
i shall bury you
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2. |
thin. thinner.
03:40
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less is more, oh
less is more
it'll never be enough
less is more
waste away
'til i'm a drop on the floor
waste away
'til i'm a drop on the floor
i wanna be thin
i wanna be thinner
i wanna be thin, thin, thin
i wanna be thinner
i wanna be thin
i wanna be thinner
i wanna be thin, thin, thin
i wanna be thinner
let me make myself smaller
let me reduce my existence to
the absolute bare minimum
pangs and twitching hands
are the costs of being lovable
i wanna be thin
i wanna be thinner
i wanna be thin, thin, thin
i wanna be thinner
i wanna be thin
i wanna be thinner
i wanna be thin, thin, thin
i wanna be thinner
would you tear yourself apart for me
the way i tear myself apart for you?
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3. |
face listens
02:43
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making rough work of it,
you wrapped my heart up in plastic
and later left somewhere on the side of the road
indiscriminately, you left pieces of me
scattered all throughout the woods
already watching the ground claim me,
bugs and animals tearing at me
like you had done before
your heart not in it, you soundlessly
erased every mention of me
every bit of evidence that i ever meant
anything to you at all
the abyss opened up
and devoured all that was left,
faces, facts, and memories
until nothing was left
you might be gone from me,
but our history remains
you might be gone from me,
but our history remains
i still have some of you in my heart
and although i tried to burn the pieces long ago
and patch over the damage,
you'll always still be there
but i wanna remove every trace of you that remains
you touched my arm, cut it off
you were all i could see, blind me now
you had a place in my heart, rip it out
you might be gone from me
but our history remains
you might be gone from me
but our history remains
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4. |
heartcry
02:21
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how beautiful are my dreams
when, in the reflection following
each and every night, i find
your footprints and scented perfume
drifting through hazy, phantasmic air
holy light fills up the room
encompassing you
the stars fall all around
the world's winding down
all i need to make it to the morning is you
all i need to make it to the morning is you
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5. |
smtms, smtms nt
05:40
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sometimes i can make it
to the grocery store nearby and
stumbling, bleary eyed, wander
picking up a few things to restock
and maybe i can hold a
conversation once in a while
holding cheap facades that mask everything going on
but sometimes i can't
because sometimes i lock myself up
in my room with the shades drawn and
hiding, trembling, i'm waiting
for everything to fall apart already
let me rot in peace
sometimes i think that i can do
the things everyone's expected to like
talking, working, existing but
everything is always too much for me
nothing's ever enough
i'm always so tired of everything
overstimulating, overdoing
feeling everything
nothing's ever enough
everything is too much
the past keeps sticking out in tufts of drying ink
sprouting out from what i'm writing
so i bought some tape
and keep trying to press it all down
so the whole thing stays neat, and clean,
and doesn't show the world how bad it's getting
but flowers grow through concrete
and memories flow through my bloodstream
thin rivulets seeping into the text
until i'm drained, and everyone can see
what's in me
sometimes i think that i can do
the things everyone's expected to like
talking, working, existing but
everything is always too much for me
nothing's ever enough
i'm always so tired of everything
overstimulating, overdoing
feeling everything
nothing's ever enough
everything is too hard
and i don't wanna die alone but
everything's pointing into
directions i don't want to take
but i find myself going anyways
trying to stay upbeat
but is there really any other ending
for me that doesn't conclude with
collapsing and imploding
what's left of my mental frame
like a cheap lawn chair
never stood a chance
against my self-destructive tendencies
sledgehammer of self-hatred
crashing to the earth
like an obsolete satellite
dime a dozen, keep me posted
for when someone more interesting shows up
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6. |
cause/effect
04:12
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there's a hole in the bottom of the ocean
that formed completely at random
a tiny blip that gradually widens
and no one knows where it all goes
and no one knows that it's even happening
hours go by, days even
and it's weeks before anyone begins to notice
and months before it's taken seriously
and by that point, what is there to do?
it's so easy for disaster to strike and pass us by,
for death to seep up through the ground
noxious fog entering our lungs
before anyone notices
and by then, it's too late
no one knows where it all goes
no one knows where we all go
when the bottom opens up
they're burning a hole in the sky
maybe letting something through
a pinprick bleeding light
that, now shown, exposes us
to the bright light of hellfire against
the backdrop of a typical night
but no one sees it raining down
they just pull the curtains shut
and pretend that nothing's going on
housewives whispering to themselves
"out of sight and out of mind" and "god loves all of his children"
but when their children stop coming home from school
and their husbands don't come back from their jobs
and it's too dangerous to go alone
will, then, we finally see the countless dead?
but even then, it's too late
no one knows where they all go
no one knows where we all go
when the sky cracks open
no one knows where we all go
when the bullets start to fly
no one knows where we all go
when good men go to war and die
no one knows where we all go
when the lights go out one by one
no one knows where we all go
when the bottom opens up
no one knows where we all go
when the bottom opens up
no one knows where we all go
no one knows where we all go
no one knows where we all go
no one knows when we'll go
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7. |
let me go there
00:25
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what are the most isolated places on earth known to man?
let me go there
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8. |
soft jagged lines
01:58
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soft, jagged lines
disappearing over time
nothing works out how it should
i'd erase everything if i could
and i want to fill the cracks in my body
with endless cement to keep me from moving
and to prevent the pain from rearing its head
so what's going on outside of my head?
because the noise won't stop
nothing ever stops
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9. |
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why won't you listen
when i talk?
why won't you listen
when i talk?
everything i try and say to you
is falling on deaf ears
everything i try and say to you
is falling on deaf ears
why won't you pick up
when i call?
why won't you pick up
when i call?
everything i wanna say to you
is going straight to voicemail
everything i wanna say to you
is going straight to voicemail
why won't you look up
when i walk in?
why won't you look up
when i walk in?
everything i wanna be for you
is always never enough
everything i wanna be for you
is always never enough
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10. |
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i came up to the threshold
oh yes i did
i came up to the threshold
almost went on in
but at the last, i backed down
i ran away
at the last, i back down
little piggy ran all the way home
too afraid to exist now, oh no
leave me alone in my room
too afraid to exist now, oh no
i'll talk to you when you get home
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11. |
holy hell
04:27
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recanting the sin of human existence
lying face down on the floor
like jesus fell over during his execution
breathing in the dust bunnies
please forgive me for everything
please forgive me for everything
please forgive me for everything
forever standing at the fringe of humanity
always hovering at the precipice
afraid of taking any form
terrified of settling on a single identity
i’ve forgotten how to be human
i’ve forgotten how to be human
i’ve forgotten how to be human
i want the sea to open up in front of me
and to take me in entirely
i want the darkest corners of the earth
to swallow me whole
gog magog, gog magog
gog magog, gog magog
gog magog, gog magog
please forgive me for everything
please forgive me for everything
please forgive me for everything
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12. |
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the thread is fraying
and the line is cutting off
what do i do so that i don't lose you?
is there even any point in trying?
still denying that it's all about to go away
do you want to go somewhere after this?
i've been too busy replaying memories
of brave new worlds to see the writing on the wall
who might we be in the next life, you and I?
all i can tell myself now is that
goodbyes need not last forever
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The Mess Inside Asheville, North Carolina
lofi from the abyss
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