Get all 8 The Mess Inside releases available on Bandcamp and save 60%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of a brief reminder, All Dead Years, what hath hell wrought, Dead of Winter, NLM///Gathering Dust To Build A Mountain, Nothing Will Come of Nothing, NWCON Singles, and Doublethink.
1. |
Artificial Tears
02:56
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It's been three weeks
and it's still raining outside.
I tried to leave,
but when I came back,
the storm was just waiting for me
Maybe tomorrow it'll go away
probably not
Why is it still raining?
Haven't I washed my sins away?
Maybe I'll go outside,
but who are we kidding?
I'll just stay out of sight
out of mind
out of sight
out of mind
How is this still happening?
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2. |
Wish You Were
02:41
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standing in a crowded room
restless bloody mouth
some things you're not supposed to understand
or ever figure out
I feel the static
And the hum
Of twenty different notes
And everyone is standing too close to me, leave me alone
I'm staring at the pattern
That I've been slowly forming
Red blood on white tile
Light-headed delirium
Oh how it spreads
Oh how it stains
And oh how bittersweet
Oh how I feel so much closer to the end
̝̣̟͔͕̼I̖̭̦f̭̫̠ ̖̞̯̯̜̮ͅy̗͇̰͚̠̱͕ou͍̬̣̫ ̦r͚̻̳e̩̞̮͖̟̥p̩͈͎̰͚͇ͅe͚a̻t̥̲̪̠͓̫ ̻̞i̬̘ͅt͕̟ ͓̺͓̭͚e̯͍̱̤͕̗n͉̲̥o͍͖͎͖͚͉u͎gẖ̤̻͙̮̫͓ ̳i̻͎̖t͖̫̙̼̜̞ ̭̫̥l̹̰̻͕̠o̫̱̱͍̘̭͔s̝̪̬̺̥̫̺e̳s̤ ͈͍̯a̻l̫̩̮̦l̜̖̫ ͎̥͖̪͓̞͇m̯̱̱ͅe͇̰̫a̞͍͙͎͙̗̲n̫i͚̱͔͕ͅn̗̳͕̳̘͕͕g̙͓̬ ̳͉̞̘̟
I̦̦̠͓͓͙͇f̳̖̤̙̠͍̞ ̣̙̜̰͙̥̲y̻̘͕o̰͕̯͇u͈ ͈̮̫̰ṟ̻̪̟͕̰͇e̫͖͖̪ͅpe̟̭͈̮a̲̗͓̺̝̰t̙͔̟̬͎̭ ̙͕͍͓̮i̞̝t̙͇ ̰e͉̤̯n̠̼͕͍͖̹o̲̦͙͉̝͇̳u͓̙̙͙̻̤͙g̺͖͙̞̥h̰̫̖̤ i̤̺̳̟̭͙t̼̳̗̞͓̣͙ ͉l̯̦̮̥̫̞̝o̬s͉̗̖ͅe̞s̟̜̼̳̼ ̩̣͇a̬l̘l̻̹͙̥̥ me̠̜̝a̝n̤͈̘i̮n̤̠ͅg̻̘͙ ͔̮
͖̭̮͍̗̘̯I̭̲̱̼f̪̭̟̟ ̬̲͙̩̱̗y̲̦͈̭͓o̰͚u̯̤ͅ ̲r̤ͅe̤͕̞̭ͅp̬̜̱̭e̦aͅt͎̬̱ ͓̝̞͕i̠̲̻t ̘̹e͕͖̫͚n͍̤͎̜o͔͔̞ṵgh i͇̟̦͖̩̪t͎͓̱̱̝̲̼ ̫̼̣͈̟l̳̰̮o̻̗͕̻s͔̭͖͉̰̘e̟s̗̳̭̰͇ ͎̝̘͈͔̻̱a͚͈͓̹̩l̦̥̪̟̞͎ḻ ͚͖̯͕͈m̦̠̞e̼͖̯͕̺a̼n̗͉͕̭͎i͕̪͉͔͉̱n̥̘̤g ̺̦̳
̺̬͙I͕f͍̲̪ ̜͇̗ͅy̫̫̺o̬u̦̬͓̲̘ ̟̺̝̲̦r͖͎̥̞͍e̳̲̖̣pͅẹa̳̗͈t̯̮ ̩͚̖̪i̠̭͔͉ͅt̺̣ ̙̘̦̙̟̳e̮̤nọu̪̥͙̳g̠h͍̦̹̫̗͙̝ ̣̞̠̬͕͎ͅi͓̬ṱ̜͉̥̯ ͕͚̰lo͎ͅs̞̳͓̱̻e̯̦̗̯̝̻s͉͙ ̩̹͉͍ͅa͇̮̯͔͇̱ͅḷ̟̤̞̼l̠̹̘̠̬ ̬me̻̮̝̯̝a͚̻͖̱̦̩ni̝͓̟̹n̮͍̳g̗͈͖͔̫̱̞
̰I̹͚̯f̹̣ ͖̖͈̼͕̠y̻̭͎o̭̳u̻ͅ ͇re̗̜̘̩p̺e̬͔̖̣̞a͔̘̝̟̮̤t̬̯̖ ̭̯̺͓̜̗i̞̹̲t̘̲̗͚̪̹ ̥̻̯̯͚ẹ̤̮̘n̖͇̙̲̫ou̦̞̥̤̩gh͚̺̩̪̜ ̤i̩t̰̠̦̝̙ ̟͙̼l̼͉͔̻̜̻o̗̼̦̭̱̻s͔̲͙͖̦̥̪e̦ș͔͎̳̞ ̙a͙̜̙̠l̫l͉͍̤͇͓̟ ̻̥̯̳̫̟m̮e͔̻a̟̝̻̤̤͇̫n͙͇̠i̼n͕g ̱͙͈
͍̜̞̪̟͔͔I̺̘̙͖̫̳f̹͕ ̜you̖̱̹ r̺͈͈̫͈̞͔e͕̬̥̖͎̝͇pe͔̝̺͔͔̫̘a͎̣ͅt ̣̠i͕͔ṭ̭̳͔̗ ̭e̼̱̲̱͙̖ͅn̞o͎͈̫͓͚͖u̼̗̠̼̯̭ͅg̟͔̺͕̫̩̦h͈ i͎t̥ ̞̜̘͚ͅl͎o̮̯̦̯̜̬̝ṣ̦̳͖͖e̱̼͍̩s̥̹ ̗̩a̙̦͇̱̹͉l͔̬͙͎͈l͈̣̟ ̩̼̞̪̪͉mḙ̭͈̠̝a̼͉̜̙̝̭͇n̰̲̘͇̤͖i̖͎n͇g͚̣͇ ͕̣͙
̞̩̭̱͙̼I̤͕̪̠̠f ͔̤y̖̺͓o͍̞͓̩̻͍̮u̗̟͉̝̳ ͕͔̜͈̹r̥͍̟̦͈͔e̹͕̻̰̪pe͔̜͓͙a͇̙͚̹̬͖̥t͖͓̞͍̮̗̺ ̗̦͓̩͚̭̝i͇̩̖t̳̲ ̺̤e͕̹̰n̘͈̖̗̠o̦̣͔̲̠u̗̯͙͈̳̯g̹̝h͇̻̘̻ ͉̺i̗̳̺̞͚̭͙t͇̝̘̤̤ ̟l͚̥o͍̝s̫e͇̦͚̪̦ͅs͚̺̭̰̼ͅ ̮a̲ll͓̻͍̤̭ ̲̙m̟̳e̼̰͎̺a̤n̜͔i̲̗̥̜ͅn̙̱̳g̘̹̩͕ ̹͍̤͙̜͓
̜I̖̞̟ͅf͙̮̰ ̩̲̦̪̻̹y͈̱ou͚͍͚ ̣͎̝r̞̻̳͈e̙̱p̮͙̦e͇̜͖͍a̭̣̺t ̠̠̗i̻̟͙̳̮͕t̟̜̩̳̭̘ ̞͚̜̣̯͔e͈̼̗ͅn̪̜͖̥o̬͈̘̜͙̬ͅu̝̟̗̮̗g̱̭͈̝͕̖h ̘i͔͚͔̗̬ṱ̜ ̰̙͇̠̟l͎̬͇̦͍̳o̼͖͚̹s͓̟̲e̱͎ș̥̤̬ ̘̜al̩̩̦͚l̦̦̥̦̹͍̖ ̙̻͇m̳̝͇e̟͈̺a͉n̼̱̳̳̼̖i̝͈n̝̣̘g̭̖̹̠
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3. |
Void In Aimless Flight
02:50
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Every streetlight shines for miles (I can't find you)
I was supposed to be home by now (I'm so lost)
It was supposed to snow this year
but nothing's really working out nowadays
Even my demons are avoiding me
There's a pain in my left side that I'll let be
Whatever happens, happens; everything must go
Dreaming of shutting every switch off
shut me down
oh shut me down
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4. |
Lonely Eyes
02:52
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let the sun begin to rise
as I go to shut the blinds
no one can come in
all good things come to an end
and so do the bad things
there's no reason for anything
everything just comes to a stop
everything must fall apart
and all of your failures
and all of your successes
and all of your memories
are left in your possessions
now devoid of context
and your loved ones
now forgetting your eye color
bruises on knees and cuts on my side
i dont wanna try anymore
deep seated fear of everything
progressing towards nothing
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5. |
Circling the Drain
01:32
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the house will stay quiet
and my phone will not ring
the mail will pile up on the front step
six months will pass
and everyone will forget
and return to their days
fading to nothingness
and the years will pass
and my memories are useless
cause mental pictures don't last
and history will stamp me out
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6. |
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Cold apple juice in a paper cup
Remember when I talked to you
in a hospital cafeteria?
Skirting past the obvious
Ignoring my blatant wounds
addressing only trivial issues
like getting me laceless shoes
adhering to the rules of this newfound hell
without admitting the fact
that your son slit his wrists a little while back
Nothing sharp allowed in my room
Sleeping on a bed of tissues
(I'm sorry if I'm bothering you)
Ping pong abyss in catatonia
mind numbed by an endless ocean of pills
is this how normal feels?
Due to a technical error
I am still alive
Still breathing in the air
but every breath hurts
i thought it would be easier
but it's only superficial
the lines will scab and heal,
but where does that leave us?
Cold apple juice in a paper cup
Remember when I talked to you
in a hospital cafeteria?
Skirting past the obvious
Ignoring my blatant wounds
addressing only trivial issues
like getting me laceless shoes
adhering to the rules of this newfound hell
without admitting the fact
you will never understand
what I went through way back when
How can we get past this?
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7. |
season by season
02:52
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Season by season
Your hair grows longer
You can't accept that
You're still who you were
So you rebrand yourself
And decorate yourself
With elaborate paint and parties
To mask what is still there
You call it classic
What a broken record
You call it a blast from the past
How original
Year by year
Your patience grows shorter
Everyone believes in you
Except for yourself
So every morning you
Stand in front of your mirror
And repeat the lines
again and again
again and again
until you feel brand new
Ignoring all deja vu
"Remember when you--"
No that was someone else
"Do you still listen to--"
No, my taste evolved
But you're still in your car
Screaming along
to the lyrics
You grew up with
And still relate to
After all this time
Season by season
Year by year
You can't escape that
Person you once were
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8. |
Shantih
02:50
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Living vicariously through screens;
one of these days, I'll be like you
All of my friends are living proof
that I am falling behind
Not a shred of my potential remains
everything is a waste of time
and if i ever move out
I am going to feel myself drifting
along a shallow river of dead end jobs
and unsuccessful album drops
fuzz creeping through my veins
blood dripping from my fingertips
rotten fruits in my mouth
i am home
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9. |
Liminal Spaces
02:15
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Every person I've ever been
is lying dead somewhere.
I don't know who I am now,
but I know I don't like him.
Pretending to take part in things
never actually participating in life
floating endlessly throughout
every home that I've ever haunted
I pass through lives in the same way
that I pass through walls;
thin and waning, my presence is barely registered.
Do you feel me haunting you?
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10. |
Silencio
01:53
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wandering in the mountains
you said you'd be here
listened for your voice
in the breeze and the wind
searched for your presence
in the blazing fire
felt for your touch
in the crumbling rocks
on my knees in a clearing
now it's only silence
so where did you go?'
Why am I here?
Why aren't you?
Why am I here?
What do I do?
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11. |
Long Way Home
07:22
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And I am sorry that it came to this
It's just that it felt so right
At this very moment everything felt so right
And I know I have
Been here before
But this time it's going to work out
For the very first time
Everything is going to work out
Give my Christmas wish to someone else
And give all my music to the river
And burn all my clothes
Let me know if my music ever got big
And please take care of yourself
And please don't do what I do, but what I say
And give me up
Tell everyone how I felt about them
Tell Rhine that I still would have
Tell God I didn't mean it
And whoever you want that I didn't make it
Tell yourself I'm coming home
my god I am home
I don't mind the sun
On the back of my neck anymore
I don't feel out of sorts
I don't mind anything
I can't stop laughing
I'm home
Dear god I am home
oh my god I am home
I am sorry that it came to this
It's just that it felt so right
At this very moment everything felt so right
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The Mess Inside Asheville, North Carolina
lofi from the abyss
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